It starts at the beginning of life when we absorb and start to live other people's belief systems. Without ill intent those around us shape our views and our beliefs about life, the world, other people and most significantly ourselves.
We start to believe what is and isn't available to us, what we can and can not achieve, what we should or should not stand for and this can become our way of being.
For some that is a pleasant and smooth pathway, surrounded by positive role models and experiences.
For others those beliefs do not align with their values and though they may not realise it they have an internal struggle between who they have become and what they truly feel life should be.
It can be like watching life through a pain of glass, seeing what we would like to have, be and feel but being unable to reach it, as though restricted by an internal battle that never ends, never allowing us to conclude what our reality should be.
Some drown the conflict with medication, food, shyness, drugs, obsessive behaviour; just dulling the noise enough to help them carry on... others become tortured by the struggle, battling depression, anxiety etc.
It can take years to decode the messages inside, for most we just learn to live with it.
We can though unlock the answers to what our own true belief systems are and should be. We can understand where the beliefs of others have led us astray, out of alignment with our values.
We can as a result of doing this shape a more aligned and peaceful life, allowing us to unlock our true potential by learning and then achieving the goals which are truly ours not those written by others long before we could make the decisions ourselves.
It comes as a surprise to most people when they realise that the thought patterns that they have are not always their own. When I use regression as part of the hypnotherapy sessions that I do with clients they can sometimes clearly go back to scenes which show them how they formed certain beliefs, the belief that they shouldn't try, that they would never be successful, that certain things are not available to them, that they must behave in a certain way in certain environments, it is usually an emotional experience when they realise that some simple throw away comments or silly beliefs of their family and friends in their childhood could possibly be at the root of the reason that they have not pursued certain dreams or followed a certain path, or even sabotaged themselves throughout life.
It is liberating for them to then change these views with the logic of an adult mind, release themselves from old thought processes and start to rebuild who they truly are in line with what they know of the world and their experience.
Of course the significant part of this is dissecting what lies at the bottom of it all but next is the rebuilding, it isn't as easy as it sounds.
Our beliefs may have been less than positive and in some cases down right destructive, but they are what we know, they are who we have been for so long that deciding on who we want to become can be, for some an anxious time.
For some living as they are is uncomfortable, painful even, but they know where they belong in that role, they have formed connections based on being that person, responding in that way. Therefore the fear of change can be greater than the fear of staying in that painful existence
My role then is to help them to feel excited by that uncertainty rather than fearful. I create an environment where they can clarify their intention, their future, making it real and tangible. By creating scenarios where they can learn to respond with their new thought processes with their new mannerisms.
Many of my clients describe this process as similar to turning on an internal light which has been dimmed for a very long time.
There are so many routes to do this work, personally I find working with the subconscious to be a short cut but one way or another we can make positive change in what and who we are, no matter how long it takes.