I have worked with many teachers and experts in order to develop my knowledge and best serve my clients; I have ploughed ahead using all of my therapy skills to help them establish exactly what it is that stops them from reaching their goals, achieving their potential and turning their life around. All in all I've been pretty successful with that, but I had a small secret... While I have intellectualised every part of my training, and been able to use it to the best affect with each client, I have been formulaic, I have been following a system which I can see works. I had understood what each person should be feeling, but despite all of that training, all of the work with 'experts' I had never truly felt what they should be feeling, I had never myself experienced that same level of connection and Breakthrough. Then I found Tony.
I was a late comer to the big man, I didn't really know who he was until last year, but once I saw a few of his you tube clips, and then the Netflix film 'I am not your Guru' that was it, I was in. I was still cautious, I had signed up for many courses before, I had spent thousands to help me learn to help others, but I knew I had to see this man.
I signed up for one of his short courses 'The Breakthrough System' and at just $97 I had learned more about the needs of every human and how I could help them immediately, I was blown away, so simple yet so effective.
Next I bought my ticket for Unleash the Power within London 2017. The energy from the second the 4 day event started was unbelievable and saw me, a middle aged, overweight and self conscious mother to a toddler, jumping around, dancing for as much as 14 hours a day, hugging strangers with abandon and feeling more alive than I had in years
Throwing in every technique from NLP, hypnotherapy, CBT, meditation, blasting the senses with pumping music from ACDC to Eminem, This man didn't seem to even leave the stage to wee during the first day, which for most started before 8 am and ended after midnight. Day 1 climaxed with 10,000+ attendees waiting in line to face fears and walk over hot coals, quite literally.
Day 3 though was 'Breakthrough day' We had all seen I am not your Guru and wanted to witness that magic first hand, but a personal shift that was the aim, the answer to all those niggling doubts, a release from our own individual self limiting beliefs which were holding us back, letting go of the past, and making that core change to create the future we all wished for.
As the day progressed, what unfolded was something that I struggle to explain without it sounding like a cult, and that isn't what I want to do, because it isn't that.
It was another high energy day powered by the urgency of 10,000 people all looking for their version of the same thing their 'Breakthrough', yet the passion that came from these people as they found gratitude for the positive and negative experience in their life was so powerful, the noises they made as they let go of years of pain, doubt,and struggles were something that I will never forget.
For me? Well I shocked myself as I let go of 42 years of not feeling that I had enough to offer, that I was somehow unique in not fitting in, feeling that I was always in the wrong, that success and even happiness were not for people like me. I also released overwhelming grief, the grief of losing my mum, of not spending quality time with her and getting to know her until she was sick, the sadness of always thinking I had let her down, that she had never met my son. The grief of loss of my second child the previous year following a miscarriage.
To most people these are words, we all have our shit right? well to me this shit had stopped me from achieving so much, I was convinced I wasn't good enough that I gave up easily in so many areas after the slightest knock backs as I felt they reaffirmed my deepest doubts about myself, I was successful in business but always felt that I was waiting to be found out, that I wasn't really that bright I was just lucky so I was stressed 100% of the time as I worked s hard to disprove this fallacy, I had been convinced that I was not good enough as a mother so lived in a permanent state of inferiority, I had walked away from many relationships and friendships as I didn't want people to find the real me underneath the story I wanted them to believe, I had rarely felt that my opinion was valid, I had battled years of depression because I had not met my own standards and expectations of what life should have been and I had spent 30 years drowning all of these feelings in seas of food with a hunger that could never be satisfied, so living the life I assumed I should have, one which saw me hide away, one which denied me the life I just watched others enjoy.
By 1 am the following morning, when I finally got to bed, it was gone, all of that was gone, 42 years of waiting, waiting for life to take the right turn so that it would fall in to place and I would find where I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to do... the memories I had from childhood where people made comments which had reinforced my feelings of inferiority were either shifted until I saw them through very different eyes, or removed completely so that they were unable to bother me again. This was it, this was a breakthrough!!!
I didn't find the answer to all of my prayers, I didn't suddenly learn how to become mega rich, I hadn't fixed every area of my life, but I was different, the way I viewed myself, the way I saw my story and the way I was able to visualise the future was different. Not one ounce was the same. The change was instant, externally I was the same but inside I had a value and a worth that I had not experienced before.
What that means now? well personally I do not doubt that whatever I work for I can achieve, I have started several projects which are all heading in a very positive direction. For my clients? it will take them to another level, I am not concerned about going with a flow which I know will take them to where they want to be, helping them to feel that shift, helping them to walk away with a different story and a different view of themselves and what life can be should they choose to take a certain path.
I work to follow the daily priming exercises and every doubt or challenge which creeps in is dealt with by a well orchestrated 'shake of my Ass' until I change my state to one which is unshakeable, one which gives me clarity and an inner strength that will help me to achieve the small things each day, the small things which quickly add up to help me become exactly who I am supposed to be.